


I Wish That I Were Dead

by enbyglowstick



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28267995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyglowstick/pseuds/enbyglowstick
Summary: Vanya was fourteen years old and she felt a numbness so intense, it caused the end of her life.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	I Wish That I Were Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I’m killing her again because my depression has come back. Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate. Hope this puts you in a festive mood. 
> 
> T.W.  
> Suicide  
> Self Harm
> 
> Title is from Loud by Scruffpuppie

The sun had set a while ago and the moon was shimmering through her bedroom window. It was three in the morning and the rest of the house where sleeping, apart from Vanya who was thinking about ending her numbness.

The cold floor lay below her and her legs barely fitted into the tiny space. At least she got a room, unlike the other emotionless person in her family - her mother. The absence of emotion was destroying her brain gradually, in a way the rest of the household did not notice. 

Before she could comprehend what she was doing, her arm was being torn apart by the formerly used blade that had been waiting in her hand to be utilised. Blood ran down her scarred wrists and the sight of it brought the emotion of pain to finally come through. 

Her mind was eager for additional pain, so she fulfilled as it instructed her to and proceeded to slash on the other arm. Further blood painted her clothing and hands. Thumps were beating through her chest and she found it soothing, therefore her hands were placed over her heart. 

The memory of her brother fleeing the academy, out of naive ignorance of the dangers of the unknown, flashed through her mind. As of this, she picked up a pen and began to write:

Dear Five,  
I love you more than I love anyone else but you left and so did my happiness. Therefore, I have to say goodbye because I know what it is like for the person you love you to leave without saying goodbye. I’m sorry our time together got cut short but that is the way of life, one day it will end. I know it is sad but it just hurts all day, and I am fed up of having a war with myself to fight to stay alive. I lost the fight. I’m sorry.  
Goodbye,  
Vanya

The page was stained with her blood as black speck emerged in her vision. Her body felt lighter and her eyes felt heavier, so she shut them. Then, her soul began to escape her body and she was finally free of the numbness and pain of Vanya Hargreeves.


End file.
